You'd never beleive....|
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|Sunday, October 8th, 2006|
|Seeking room mate or room for rent
I'm looking for an apartment to share or a room for rent for a MAXIMUM of 6 months, most likley shorter than that (unless i can't find anything other than an apartment with a 6 month lease)
If anyone needs or is looking for a responsible roommate with a steady full time job (I work 50+ hours/week) in the bucks county area, please let me know.
|Wednesday, September 13th, 2006|
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I know they're just words
To wrap up this story
That ended too soon
I wish I could call you
And tell you all about this bad dream
But a hundred thousand piches
Will never bring you back
|Sunday, August 13th, 2006|
|Thursday, August 3rd, 2006|
So alot of bad shit went down at Kevin's house this moring, none of it involving me, but as a result I don't think I'll be able to stay here. I'm probably going to move to Echo Lake this weekend.
We're still looking for people who are serious about helping out. The pay is so-so but come one...free room and board, a beautiful lake, AND free parties...And you get to live with some awesome fucking people. 18+ please.
oh yeah...WE GOT DR.SPOOK AND WITCHDOKTA!!! In case you hadn't noticed from the flyer below. Now it probably won't be as hard getting other good psytrance Dj's to sign on. But i have this feeling that we're getting blacklisted by that scene or something. I really don't get why so many people in the psytrance scene turn up their noses at anything other than psytrance. I understand if it's your primary interest, and even if you dislike other kinds of dance music...but why do you have to be against
it? The guy who runs TDC supposedly told my sister that "he doesn't like that we're streamlining psytrance with other scenes." What the fuck is that shit? Who are YOU to say what music we can spin at our own fucking party? Jaime and Dave aren't helping us either, and I think it's for the same reason. It's really sad...It really bothers me that this party is going to be HUGE, and the only problems that we are having are with the only aspect of the party that I care about. I guess it's just an obsticle that we're going to have to get around...no, through. I have a feeling tht once we get this thing off the ground we won't be having problems like this anymore.
|Tuesday, August 1st, 2006|
|Thursday, July 27th, 2006|
|Saturday, July 15th, 2006|
|Moving to New York in a month.....
Some of you may know this, and some of you may not, but Bill has been talking to the owner of Echo Lake in Afton, New York about going into some kind of partnership ending in us owning it. They had their fourth meeting today, and Bill sealed the deal.
Our vision for the lake-It's going to be a private campground, a community of like minded people. Memberships will be by application. We're going to fix it up, rent it out, and throw trance parties, raves, festivals, etc. TDC will still be welcome to throw their festival there as well as anyone else we approve of. There are 25 cabins, several camping lots, a bunkhouse with 116 beds, an indoor pavilion, as well as several other ammenities.
We're probably going to throw our first party there around the end of August and we are going to extreme fundraising measures. I'll post flyers and info when the time comes.
We're looking for a sound system to rent until we can get on our feet if anyone can help.
I guess that's it.
|Friday, July 7th, 2006|
|Wednesday, June 21st, 2006|
|And it doesn't really matter if I'm wrong, I'm right where I belong
So it's been a while since my last real update...I'll stop neglecting you guys, I promise. Alot has been going on come to think of it but I guess alot never seems like alot while it's in the process of being alot. Wait...that one hurt my brain a little. Onward.
GAIAN MIND IS THURSDAY YOU FUCKERS, AND IF YOU DON'T COME I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND....well....bitch and complain and tell you how good it was and make you wish you went. Yeah, that'll show ya. Seriously though, I'm so psyched about this festival that I haven't been able to sleep the last few days and I've dreamt about it every night this week. I've been waiting for this for over a year and I know it will be well worth the wait. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures.
Bill is talking to the owner of Echo lake in Afton, New York. (Echo lake is where TDC and Omni Tribe throw their festivals) He's buying it. And we're going to start a...Well, I don't know what you want to call it. Tribe/Commune/party zone/camp ground/sanctuary/HOME. It's 130 acres of sheer beauty. You know what this means? This means that we are never going to have to look for a place to party again, and no one is ever going to bother us for partying again. Moreover, it's going to be a place where you can be HAPPY. Remember that word? We know the right people to make this happen. we're going to hold 3 or 4 psytrance festivals there a year, a few parties, maybe some raves, and whatever else comes down the line. More to come on that as it unfolds.
I started my new job at BCK Distributors today...Fucking telemarketing. But whatever it's easy work, the hours are good, and the pay is...Eh...it's ok. I'm considering applying at J&J staffing resources, a temp agency that Scott was telling me about but I guess I'll see how it works out.
I had alot more to say but I've become impatient and my add is catching up with me. I'll finish this post tomorrow.
|Monday, June 19th, 2006|
|Friday, June 2nd, 2006|
|Who are you to wave your finger?
I heard on NPR today that Bush and his administration are proposing a law to monitor internet access of any citizen. What freedoms are we supposedly fighting to save? The freedom to chose between Coke and Pepsi? One reality show after another? I believe in democracy and I see it exists, but in an unused, gloomy style.
The masses form to: watch tv, go to the movies, go shopping, buy new cars, and whatever else they have been told to do by advertisements. So is the war with Iraq going to happen because Americans are too brainwashed from propaganda or because they are simply ignorant? I think it is a combination of both. The people can decide the outcome of this, but half support war because of nifty speeches by the white house, cia approved news headlines, and sugar from soft drinks.
You know, as I complain about all of this, I can not help but understand it is no different than the Persians invading Greece, the Roman Empire's expansion, or Germany in WWII. Bush is in charge of another superpower attempting to expand. Iraq, Afghanistan, and who ever else they chose will just fall victim to American Empire. It will all be part of history is a hundred years. But I do know we are much more civilized than those ancient times -- we are smarter and more open minded as a whole. I think it is possible to suppress the big issues, but it takes more people than just the ones out there trying to aware the public; the majority has to join. Activists, protesters, demonstrators -- an entire population labeled by the majority.
|Wednesday, May 31st, 2006|
|Your Personality Is Like Acid|
A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!
|Thursday, May 18th, 2006|
|Wednesday, May 17th, 2006|
So I thought about it today...It's going to be a fucking amazing summer. Every two weeks is either a pine barrens party or a psytrance fest. Sacred Earth is in like two weeks....I could just DIE. Something about all of these people coming together in peace and community just...It brings me to tears, and it gives me hope for humankind. People CAN live peacefully in anarchy. They DO.
The new health thing is workingout great. I've been a vegitarian for years but now i'm staying away from eggs and dairy too. And i'm not eating anything fried. No soda, no candy, no junk food, basically nothing that isn't healthy. Quit smoking, started exercising (sp) and drinking nothing but water and green tea. I've lost 60 lbs in the past year, I've only got about 25 to go. I'm not doing this to lose weight though. I want to feel good better than I want to look good. And Christ do I feel good. I'm experiencing the same kind of rebirth I did last summer, I think. I want to be happy. I want everyone else to be happy. I look back on myself a few years ago and realize what a selfish, evil little shit I was, and I really want to make up for it, especially to the awesome people who I'm no longer close with as a result.
I 'm really down for spiritual growth latley. I had an acid trip about a week and a half ago that rocked my world. It was like getting hit by a cosmis two by four. I think I'm about to trip by myself for the first time this weekend. I want a sitter of course, but I have realized that if I can focus on the trip without feeling obliged to be social, the effects are amazing. I want to sit down and read through "Be Here Now" in it's entirety. I already understand, but something tells me that the message will really click under Lucy's influence.
What else...Oh, picture from the pine barrens will be posted soon.
I guess that's all, chilljin. Current Mood: okay
|Sunday, May 14th, 2006|
|Life is good.
So the pines were really bumping last night. Really good vibe but not as many people showed up as I thought were going too. But I guess that's kind of a good thing. Pictures to come, as soon as my phone starts doing its job right.
I love my life. Current Mood: drained
|Thursday, May 11th, 2006|
I have been examine and reexamining staurday morning's trip and I'm no closer to comnig to any conclusions. So, at the time, I knew I was finding enlightenment. So, what now? Am I supposed to call myself a Bodhisattva and spend the rest of my life meditating in a monastary on the other side of the planet? And when did I start practicing buddhism? I'm not trying to sound pretentious. I'm not enlightened in the least. But I was, and I can be. I am not a Bodhisattva. I'm not even a fucking Buddhist. There is alot of truth to Buddhism, but I LOVE the human drama. I don't want
to escape it. But once I did, I never wanted to come back. But I did. So do I really want to be here?
I think that I need to spend some time by myself. I'd like to go off in the woods some where and just BE. I need to get in touch with these things I once only identified as beliefs, not truths. For years I identified myself as a Wiccan. But the things I've learned about spirituality lately go beyond wicca. I guess this is where Buddhism comes in...I still honor nature and realize the divinity in all things, but I can no longer personfy divinity. The God/Goddess aspect that initially drew me to wicca has become clouded. So...I think it's time for me to figure out not what I believe, but what I see and what I know. Maybe I should spend some time famailiarizing myself with spiritual figures. This mut of religions that has become my belief structure is pretty similar to hinduism as I understand it, and the people who run baps swaminayrian are really nice. Maybe I could just watch their services for a little while.
or maybe I just need to sit down with alot of psycheldelics for a while. Acid got me into this mess, maybe it can help me find my way out of it. Current Mood: contemplative
|Monday, May 8th, 2006|
So I have decided. Nothing in the world makes me as happy as psytrance. I AM psytrance.
You probably think I'm stretching it, but i'm not. I love it, it's part of me.
I was surprised with a party in the pine barrens friday night. Jaime text messaged me about it that day, so I rounded up the kids (the kids being kevin, bill, scotty and lilliya) and set out...It was so wonderful that putting into words how wonderful it was would ruin it. So I'm not going to. All you have to know is this.
I am happy.
The Halcyon has returned.
Last saturday morning, I experienced what was not nessicarily the best trip I have ever had, but certainly the most signifigant. I attended a psychedelic trance party in the pine barrens of NJ that night, and had taken 2 and a half ecstacy pills. I usually avoid tripping a parties, especially on LSD because of what a social clutz I become, but watching a friend of mine have such a wonderful trip inspired me to do so. After all, it was around 9:30 in the morning, and the vibe of the party had signifigantly changed. Everyone was pretty much in "chillout" mode, as was the music, so I figured, ah, what the hell. I exchaged a water bottle half full of rum for 2 liquid hits and began to feel the effects about 2 hours later. Almost immediatly after I began to reallr trip, it was time to leave. I tripped really hard in the car for what seemed to be about an hour and I soon noticed that the usual feelings of confusion and self consciousness that I have come to associate with LSD were not present. I became very aware of "be Here Now" an book that had become veryspiritually signifigant to me in recent months. Whenever I tripped on acid before, I told myself to be here now, because I often find myself feeling listless, not knowing what to do with myself. So I would tell myself to just be here now. I was also bothered by my short term memory. I could never remember what I was thinking about or doing even an instant before, and was always so caught up in trying to remember what it was. But because I was able to sit in the car and not speak to anyone or do anything, i was able to just focus on the trip itself, which was something that I was never able to do before. I realized the true meaning of "Be Here Now" and it's signifigance to LSD.Nothing matters exept this, this very instant, this very place, because nothing else exists. THIS THIS THIS NOW NOW NOW amd that's all you have. LSD makes you forget about that and there and gives you here and now. It's a very simple concept, but so difficult to explain.
Be heere now eventually turned into just BE. I closed my eyes and focused on OM, which at the time represented the everything and nothing that I was becoming. I had no memory, no future, no past, no identity, and I was realizing that this was the most imprtant moment of my life. I had reached enlightenment but was completley aware of everything that was going on around me. When we got home, my friends tried to talk to me, but I didn't respond. It wasn't that I was unaware of them or that I didn't respond or couldn't, it was that I wasn't there. They were trying to communicate with Andi, and Andi wasn't present. I remember realizing that if i could just focus, if I could just meditate on this concept for all time, that I would be content to do so. It wasn't a good feeling, it wasn't a bad feeling. It reallly wasn't a feeling at all, it just was, and that was all.
Obviously, it ended, and Andi came back. She was very confused. Now that I knew what it was, what I was, i didn't know how to be her anymore. Part of me wanted never to speak again. I wasnted to be alone with that experience forever, but I realized that I couldn't. That was that and this is this. I don't know why I'm here, but I am, and I'm happy about it, and I look forward to being THAT again some time. Maybe I won't ever experience it again until I die, but at least I know what comes next.
|Friday, May 5th, 2006|
|Sand is so much more forgiving than cement.
9 days...Only days... fucking DAYS until we can go home to the pine barrens. It makes me want to cry. It gives me goosebumps. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand. It gives me that feeling that my chest is about to explode. Current Mood: ecstatic
|Never closer to a stranger...
Of all the adjetives(sp?) that I could choose from to describe today, I'll go with....eh. Yes, that's right. But I guess all's well that ends well.
I went to my GED class this morning...I've been staying pretty constant with that. If I'm going to be a loser I might as well be good at it. Anyway, finished the math section of the pre-test, and it looks like I'll be getting my Good Enough Diploma on may 9th. I'm taking the test that is, but there's no way that I'm going to fail because i could have passed the damned thing when I was fifteen. I wish I'd known that then. If I had than maybe by this point I would have my financial situation under control. In any case, I figured that while I'm at Bucks to take the GED test I might as well pick up the registration info I'll need for the fall semester.
Went to breakfast with Bill and Megan this morning, CUTCUTCUTBULLSHITSTUPIDFUCKINGSCOTTANDLI
LLYDRAMACUTCUTCUT.....I'd go into it, but...yeah. Anyway.
So. Wentabout planning a bonfire party in Washington's Crossing tonight, but a bunch of people backed out and decided to go to the fucking city instead. Why the HELL would ANYONE choose going into the city over a beautiful place like the rope swing is beyond me, but by this point the group had dwindled to Scott, Lilly, Kevin and I, so we decided to go to this AMAZING playground in morrisville. Then we drove to Blaise's and smoked a bowl in his honor outside of his house in the car.
Tomorrow had better involve Tyler Park somehow. Current Mood: okay